Living in Limbo

by Deb Trojak

Waiting. Oh, how I dislike to wait. And yet, that is what the past year of my life has been. Honestly, it is what the majority of my life has been. When I was younger, I thought life began at 13 because it was then that I could wear make-up, get my ears pierced, and babysit. (Yes, I definitely had my priorities straight….) During high school I could not wait until college. Then college came and I was super excited to graduate, get a job, get married. Then once married, I couldn’t wait to have kids. And now that I have kids…well of course, now I’m not waiting for anything. (Mmmhmmm.)

Then along came this past year – a year of blank calendars, uncertainty, and…yep…waiting. Some of that because of the pandemic but a lot of it was also from becoming a foster family. There is so much living in limbo when you become a foster parent. For a couple months we weren’t sure what children would be placed with us. We waited expectantly to see how many, what ages, genders, personalities, etc.

Since July and the arrival of our foster kiddos, it has been a long process of living with uncertainty with no foreseeable end in sight. Will they get to stay with us? Will the courts decide to give them back to their parents? Each month brings about delays and pushed back hearings. And yet, in the midst of all of this unknown – life happens. We continue to discover who these three beautiful children are and how they fit into our family. We continue to live. I’ve realized that this kind of living is very much how we are to live as Christians. In Hebrews 11:1 it says – “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” We do not know when Christ will return, but we do know He will return. There’s a theological concept called the “already-not yet.” It’s the idea that we as believers live in a time of tension. Christ’s first coming started the end times, but it is not “the end” until He comes again. So we are to live in the present, while holding on to the promises for the future.

And life continues to happen in the waiting. Thankfully, as a Christian, the expectation of what is to come makes the wait worth it. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet
inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

On the days I lose heart, I need to change where my focus is. These circumstances are temporary. At some point, it will become clear whether these children will stay in our home or not. (And at that point, I will then have to start waiting for something else.)

The wonderful thing in the midst of all the “momentary troubles” is that at the end there is an “eternal glory.” So in the small amount of time I have with these children, I can hopefully have an impact that is eternal. I can be present in the
moment, while looking forward to the certainty of what Christ has for me and for them.

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